How do you deal with a mother who creates drama constantly?

I'd just blow her off and not deal with her very often. My mom's the same way. If your mother wants to put her husband ahead of her kids than thats her problem. I understand she's your mother but after so much you've just gotta say enough is enough and don't worry about it. Hopefully she'll realise how stubborn she's being and she'll do what it takes to get you to visit her. I wouldn't completely cut her off but just call her less.